South African cannabis culture is like no other, and therefore we have members of this community like no other. With that, we’ve come up with some ‘stoner stereotypes’. Let us know what other stoner personalities you think we have here locally!
This piece is written to shed light on the Cannabis Culture currently consuming South Africa and the different types of stoners you may find. It must be noted that there are varying degrees to what we discuss in this article, and by no means is it a do or die prescription for the current cannabis climate. However, through attending many conferences, events and premium clubs, we have collated some data points for your reading pleasure.
The ‘Chill-bro’ Clique
These are your regular stoners who like to keep it down-tempo. Their pace of life is different to that of the regular person, and they like to make sure that their energy output doesn’t over extend beyond smiles, laughs and ‘irie vibes’. There is something mystical about the ‘Chill-bro’ Clique that we can’t quite put our finger on. They are the unicorns of Johannesburg’s high-stress temperament and the bringers of Cape Town’s calming and quaint European vibes. As lekker as the ‘Chill-bro’ Clique may be, don’t rely on them to make it on time to a meet or greet, and ensure that you remind them at least three times of where and when.
The ‘Take-it-over-the-top’ Thomas
We all have a Thomas in our squad. This guy is talking indoor only – he doesn’t want to hear about your low-grade greenhouse and how you’re trying to pawn off the idea that it might get both of you just as high. No, Thomas wants to do it right, do it hard, and make sure that his smoke is of the highest quality. Now, because Thomas is used to the finer things in life, he also has a tendency to venture into the concentrates. Dabs are a staple on his list, and if you aren’t hitting the rig with him, then you aren’t truly a big boy in his league.
The ‘Paro-Pete’
We all have a mate who wants to join in on the fun but knows it’s going to kick him back to Tuesday and make him say sorry for things he didn’t even do. The idea of smoking a joint in ‘Paro-Petes’ mind is an overly romanticized event as the end result is always the same – asking nonsensical questions with a face stuck on frown. Pete will always convince the group that he is good this time, and last time was just an anomaly as Orion’s Belt crossed over Jupiter and the cosmos misaligned. However, we all know the end result. Lots of coca-cola, warm blankets, reassurance and much needed sleep is the only way to let Pete kick the demons.
The ‘Cannabis-King’
This lady or gentleman thinks he can outsmoke everyone. He or She brings a bong to casual encounters such as a public park and leaves everyone wondering why consuming a psychedelic herb that is meant to shatter your pineal gland fosters an ego-centric competition of bongbashing. He only refers to his joints as ‘bats’ and ensures he rolls a minimum of one gram in anything holding Rizzla (or a OneLove paper – check it out, its dank). The ‘Cannabis-king’ speaks a lot of big game, and his immediate social circle quickly realizes that his title is self-proclaimed and cringey at best.
The ‘Casual-Coner’
This he or she partakes every now and then. They aren’t morbidly stoned like some of the others, and ensure that their consumption is throttled to special occasions for maximum gains. The ‘Casual-Coner’ can be your mom, dad, grandma or even dog. It’s just about the terpenes and their exponential benefit to your endocannabinoid system man… or, it’s just to climb into a reality that is a melting oil painting with good tasting food. Whichever you choose, The ‘Casual-Coner’ embodies the majority of South Africa. Smoke, braai, chill, have a ‘lag of twee’ and making sure it’s just about cultivating good times with good people.
So, there are different types of stoners my friend. Which one are you?
There you have it, our top 5 stoner personalities which make up some of the Cannabis Culture currently surrounding the South African landscape. Hit us up in the comments with some more types, we would love to hear from you!
